DRAGON BALL Z - WEEKEND AT ROSHIE'S

The sky brightens and light dawns on a new era, for Goku has defeated Majin Buu. In celebration the Z warriors are having a party at Master Roshies house. Everyone prepares to, they all get something to bring. Krillin and 18 went to the mainland to get some whiskey no one really likes it but Piccolo. He threatened Krillin that if he didn't get it for him he would stab him with his hobo knife. Goku pulled a massive rock from the ground and carved into a statue of a naked woman for his old master.
Goten and Trunks were on there way when they saw Piccolo digging through a dumpster.
Goten: Piccolo ahhh what are you doing, and what's that smell pee uu.
They see a gloved hand with no fingers appear from the depths of the trash.
Piccolo: Smell? Oh! That's my urine and I'm looking for something to eat.
Trunks: Are you drunk again Piccolo?
Piccolo: let me answer your question like this! I'm not not drunk again. Oh HOT DAMN!!! BEANS!
He dunked his head in and pulled out a can of beans with a few kicking around inside. He wedged to fingers in and ate the moldy contents of the can.
Piccolo: Ill gives you some but only if you answer me these questions three.
Trunks and Goten flew off.
Trunks: I think Piccolos losing it Goten.
Goten: Yah me too and his nose is rotting off gross.
They looked back and saw Piccolo screaming at the beans then crying and apologizing to them. Twelve minutes later they made it to Roshie's. He was nowhere to be found. Trunks and Goten began to spar Goten powered up a tremendous KAMEHAMEHA. He fired it directly at Trunks who dodged. It flew through the open window of the Kame house and blew up Roshi who was leaving the bathroom. Goten and Trunks panicked. Goten had an idea.
They glued Roshie's arms and glasses to a rock and painted on a beard.
Goten: Walla!!
Trunks: We are so dead no ones going to believe this crap.
In the distance they could see everyone coming. Piccolo was flying a little crooked, Tien and Chaoutzu (Chaoutzu was in a bubble because he self destructs when he hits something), Yamchua, Goku, Gohan, Videl, Bulma, Chichi.
Trunks: Quick lets hide him!
They picked up the rock and flew it into Roshi's room.
Trunks: Here should be good don't you think Goten?
Goten: Yah we'll tell everyone he's sick so he can't come down and play!
Just then everyone landed Goten and Trunks looked out the window. Piccolo was drinking his whiskey & telling war stories of how he fights for food. Tien popped a capsule with a Mc Donald's playpen and Chaoutzu crawled around inside. They flew out the window and acted natural.
Krillin: Oh cool the boys are here let's party.
Goku: What? Where's Roshi? Where about to start the wet tee-shirt contest.
Piccolo: This is a open bar right?
Goku: Yah over there.
Piccolo upon seeing the bar he dove at it crashing through the table and chugging booze.
Goten& Trunks: Roshi's sick! He can't come down he's sick he says he wants to be alone.
Goku: Nonsense I'll check up on him. You guys start the party.
Goku ran up the stairs with Trunks and Goten at his heels. He kicked the door open.
Goku: Roshi how've you been buddy?
Goten and Trunks start sweating and are about to cry.
Goku: There's definitely something different about you... You don't have your Cain! I'll get it for you.
Goten and Trunks fall over. Goku comes back with the Cain and puts it on his hand. Which falls off.
Goku: Whoops ill get that for you.
Trunks: Hey Goten what's up with your dad? He's talking to that rock like it's the real thing.
Goten: I don't think he can tell.
Goku is laughing and slaps the rock on the back and bursts out,
Goku: HA that's a good one Roshi what a side splitter. Lets go boy's hehhee we'll leave this jokester alone.
So they join the party Bulma and Vegeta a re dancing, Goku and Chichi are bumping and grinding. Gohan and Videl have snuck off, and Piccolo is stealing all the cocktail weenies. There is a blinding light and Gotenks appears.
Gotenks: You want to see dancing? Ill show you dancing.
Gotenks starts to disco then break dance. He stops suddenly.
Gotenks: What's that smell?
Everyone looks at Piccolo who is chewing on Gotenks arm.
Gotenks: Get away from me you bum!
Gotenks kicks Piccolo into the ocean. To which Piccolo responds.
Piccolo: Ill knife you!!!!!
He then started to cry and chewed on his foot.
Goku: Wow Piccolo's really gone down hill.
Bulma: Tell me about it he "crashed" as he called it at my "pad" for a while but he smelt funny.
Vegeta: He also wouldn't get out and get a job he tried to be a paperboy but he kept stabbing the pedestrians. Let me tell you something Kakarott there's nothing more disturbing than a Namek sitting around all day eating cereal in his underwear. I told him to get a job or to get out.
Tien: So what happened?
Vegeta: He started blubbering like a baby and said I wasn't his dad...but its Kakarott I believe whom messed that up for him. The worst part is the house still smells like rotten cabbage! AND I NOW HAVE FLEAS!
Goku: Heh heh so I killed his pops and scarred the guy for life I'm sorry ok?
Chaoutzu then rolled over to Vegeta's and tugged on his leg.
Chaoutzu: That was mean Vegeta have you no heart?
Vegeta then began to power up immensely water swooshed to and fro the ground trembled.
Vegeta: Shut up you little freak!
Krillin then ran over and grabbed Chaoutzu's ball.
Krillin: What are you nuts? Stop bothering him hes very tanked and no one wants to brawl with this guy.
Chaoutzu pointed at Krillin.
Chaoutzu: Midget...
Krillin: Shut up! Don't say it!
Chaoutzu: Baldy.
Krillin: I have hair and im taller than you! MIDGET! BALDY! How do you like it?
Chaoutzu began to power up everyone including Gotenks watched in silence.
Chaoutzu: Tien!!
Goku: Oh Christ he's doing it again.
Vegeta: He's blowing up again? This is the third time this month!
Everyone looked at Tien.
Tien: What just because I hang out with the guy you think I can stop him? I can handle this though.
Tien ran up and kicked Chaoutzu into the air. Piccolo appeared above him and spiked him back down.
Piccolo: FORE!
Chaoutzu smacked Vegeta and they both went flying into the Kame house. They got stuck in Roshi's doorway. He then exploded. The roof of the Kame house pooped of an inch then landed back on. Smoke rose from the windows. Vegeta walked out brushing off his arms. He smirked.
Vegeta: He's gone. Again and he took the old man with him this time.
Goku: Oh my god they killed Roshi!
Krillin: You bastards!
Gotenks: Well where going to get sued. That's copywrited you know!
Gohan ran around the corner naked except for his cloths covering his privates.
Gohan: He did it again!
Goku nudged Vegeta and bragged.
Goku: That's my son.
Now all eyes were on Gohan who turned beet red. Chichi saw and fainted, Bulma gasped, Vegeta laughed, Piccolo was passed out. Gohan snuck away embarrassed.
The Z warriors began to search for the dragonballs.
Meanwhile in other world. King Yemma is judging Roshi and Chaoutzu. Chaoutzu had been glued back together but his head was on backwards and his leg was stuck to his bellybutton.
Yemma: Chaoutzu come forth!
Chaoutzu came up and began acting like a mime, which got Yemma rolling around laughing.
Yemma: Go on buddy see you in awhile. I love that little guy..eerrr umm Roshi! Come forth.
Roshi: Yeeees?
Yemma: Lets check the records shall we? Bad behavior, public nudity.. Trained Goku! Well there you go.
Roshi: So I'm in?
Yemma: Ya go on up.
Roshi floated to snake way where he raced Chaoutzu to King Kai's. Chaoutzu won and flew off to the planet..
Roshi: No one said anything about flying... Well I'm a angel I can do it!
Roshi leapt off snake way and fell to HFIL he landed in the blood pool with a horrendous splash.
Roshi: Damn...
A blonde man helped him out... General Blue!
Blue shogun: Hey good looking come here often?
Roshi ran away screaming. He ran through some brush and bumped into Cell, Frieza, The ginyu's and Babidi. Babadi was sitting next to a man who looked identical to Vegeta but he had a M in his forehead and had red lighting shooting from his body.
Cell: So who's this guy again?
Babidi: I'll explain once more. When Vegeta self-destructed his evil side was sent here so this is it the evil form of Vegeta stronger than the old one I might ad.
Frieza: I loathe Vegeta.. Goku too!
Cell: Me more!
The argument when back and forth for more than a hour when they spotted Roshi in the brushes.
Cell: Who are you!?
Roshi walked forth and gulped.
Roshi: I'm ahhh Roshi the horrible doer of evil. I almost destroyed the Z warriors! I was also a stud muffin!
Cell stared at him in disbelief.
Cell: Wait I remember you now! You're that old pervert who took those naked pictures of 18!
Roshi: ME? No ahhh that was someone else I ahhhh.
Roshi kicked Cell in the shin and ran away screaming Cell blasted him and everyone began to beat on him. Cell now get ready for the worst pain of your life!
Roshi: NOOO NOT THE PURPLE NURPLE!
Frieza: Nuggie!
Rosh sat thinking to himself while getting nugies.
Roshi: I don't have to put up with this much longer they'll have me out of here and wished back any minute now...
One year later
Roshi: Yup any minute now...
Meanwhile on Earth the Dragonballs have been collected and Shenron was summoned.
Shenron: What is your wish?
Goku: We ahh hate to trouble you but we need to wish back Roshi and Chaoutzu.
Shenron: Chaoutzu? Again!! It shall be done.
Piccolo then shambled over out of his box.
Piccolo: Got any spare change mister?
Shenron: No I ahh left it in my other pants.
Chaoutzu appeared. In HFIL Roshi was still getting nuggied and was receiving a wedge from Cell when Shenron appeared.
Shenron: Any Roshi's around here?
Roshi: That's me!
Cell began to think and grabbed babidi, Frieza, Ginyus, and Majin Vegeta and told them his plan. They all dressed up like Roshi and said in sync.
ROSHI'S: here we are!
Shenron appeared with a sweat drop on his forehead.
Shenron: Ok whatever lets go.
They all appeared in a city with the exception of Roshi. Chaoutzu was hauled away for first-degree murder to a maximum-security prison otherwise known as...OZ.
They all celebrated in the return of Roshi. Things when well for him after that they had a New York Friar's Club Roast of Roshi, He posed for playgirl and was happy.
There was destruction in a city and millions of people were wiped out. The Z warriors went to go investigate. There they found Cell, Frieza, The Ginyu's and Babidi with his new creation. Piccolo was drunk and hallucinating. He thought Babidi was a piñata and cut him in half again. Frieza powered up and charged at Goku.
Goku: Here we go again.
He went ssj and dodged every punch dealt. He then punched Frieza in the gut and elbowed his face. Goku then charged up a Kamehameha and blasted him through a building and into the ground. Piccolo mugged him then Goku finished him off. Next Cell charged at Gohan and attacked with brute force. Gohan easily dodge and told the story about the Z sword.
Cell: Oh crap...
Gohan: Masenko!!
He raised his hands and his head and fired it at Cell. It vaporized all but a brain cell. He regenerated.
Cell: I am invincible now! My newest power up brought me to levels unimaginable!
Vegeta: Let me get this one...
Vegeta went ssj2 and Cell went to punch him Vegeta grabbed and crushed his hand. The kneed him in the face and shot a Big Bang at him point blank vaporizing him. The ginyu's charged now at full speed. Goten and Trunks took care of them.
Majin Vegeta: Not bad, not bad at all. Lets see how you fair against a real challenge..
Majin Vegeta charged at lightning speed and knocked Krillin, Piccolo, and Gohan through a few buildings. He then shot many kai blasts at them. Goku through a roundhouse kick, which he dodged with ease he then, buried his fist in Goku's chest. Goku spit up blood and was pummeled by Majin Vegeta. Vegeta jumped in at ssj2 and was a slight challenge. Majin Vegeta had the upper hand and kicked Goku through a building and into the ground. Goten and Trunks fused to ssj3 Gotenks and attacked. Majin Vegeta was given many blows by Gotenks and was beat on furiously. He then shot a big bang and destroyed him. Upon seeing his fused son destroyed Goku powered up to ssj3.
Goku: I shall never forgive you its time to die!!
Goku charged and pounded Majin Vegeta to a pulp no matter how many punches Majin Vegeta through not one landed. Goku powered up a Kamehameha and fired it at him it hit head on and blew him to bits. He then turned to a gas and flew at Vegeta.
Vegeta: What in the hell?
He then began to scream in rage as the gas went into his body through his nose and mouth. There was a massive explosion wiping out the whole city. Goku could hardly survive it himself everyone else wit the exception of Piccolo was destroyed. In a crater sat Majin Vegeta fused with the regular Vegeta. His power was off the scale. Goku couldn't even comprehend such power.
Piccolo: HEY! I HAD HALF A BEER DOWN THERE!
Piccolo pulled out his hobo knife and charged at the new Majin Vegeta. He went to stab him or bite him but this new Vegeta's power was too much and he was rocketed back and through a mountain dead. Goku charged at him swinging and punching wit hall his might. Not one hit landed. Goku powered up more and shot kai blasts at him. Vegeta reflected them all wit ha barrier. He ten began to beat on Goku with no restraint. Just when all hope seemed lost a familiar voice screamed out.
Roshi: KAME-HAME-HA!!!
A jacked Roshi shot a fully charged KAMEHAMEHA at Vegeta it hit him dead on and made him blink. Vegeta began to laugh.
Roshi: Goku get out of here I'll take it from here...
Goku: No master!! You don't stand a chance! He may destroy the whole world! On second thought... See ya later!
Goku teleported and started looting stores. Roshi began to power up. A blue aura surrounded him. Light began to appear everywhere and covered Vegeta.
Roshi: Fool! I think I'm finally starting to understand you. I'm going to crush you and throw you into the wind! Turtle, Baba I do this for you... and yes even you Goku.
Roshi began to scream and powered up immensely he then self-destructed a titanic blast went off engulfing a whole five feet around him. Vegeta watched this eating popcorn laughing. The smoke cleared and there sat Roshi in a hole two feet deep a stone statue with little lightning bolts going off around him.
Vegeta: Screw this goodbye.
He flew into the air and wit hone finger powered up an energy ball, which he hurtled towards earth. Goku was grabbing a TV at the time and running around screaming like a girl. The world blue up and was gone for good. Vegeta had destroyed himself in the blast. Now everyone including good Vegeta were in other world having a party. Piccolo was living his dream he had enough beans and liver and onions to live off of forever. Everyone was happy but everyone also wondered where Roshi was.
Meanwhile in HFIL:
Roshi: Damn...
Cell: nuggie!!
Frieza: Purple Nurple, Purple Nurple!!

THE END