AND THEN THERE WAS SOME

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't."

--From Hamlet (II, ii, 206)

Piccolo, Goku and Vegeta were basking in the sun, laying on the beach of their Utopian island. Times could never be more peaceful and prosperous as those.

"Guys... Just sitting here, on this island paradise, makes me wonder... why are we here?" asked Piccolo.

Vegeta sat up.

"Well, I'm here because those stupid earthlings sent me here with that wish."

Then Goku raised his hand.

"Oh! Pick me! Pick me!"

Piccolo rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Son?"

"I'm here because I was sent here as an itty bitty saiyan baby."

Piccolo sweat dropped.

"That's not what I'm talking about!"

Sighing, he continued.

"I mean... what is the meaning of life?"

Goku raised his hand again, and Piccolo pointed to him.

"It's a film by Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam, John Cleese, Graham Chapman, Eric Idle and Michael Palin, A.K.A. The Monty Python Team."

The demon king smacked him upside the head.

"Ouch! What was that for?" asked a teary eyed Goku, who was rubbing a bump on the back of his head.

"Incompetence."

Suddenly Vegeta got an idea. Tapping Piccolo on the shoulder, he asked the ultimate question.

"What are you envious of?"

Piccolo's eyes widened, and steam started to pour out of his ears.

"I AM ENVIOUS OF NOTHING! I AM THE GREAT DEMON KING PICCOLO! I AM THE SUPERIOR BEING!" He snapped at the Ouji.

The saiyan prince just backed away, ever so slowly..."Then... why are you green?" asked Goku.

The Namekian pondered this for a moment, ruminated over the situation carefully, looking deep inside himself for an intelligent, witty answer.

"I was born green."

Vegeta walked back over, now sure that Piccolo had regained is sanity.

"Well, people are green with envy, but you're green. So... what's your color?"

"Purple!" suggested Son.

"No... That's the color of my blood..."

"Brown?" Goku suggested.

"I am the Prince of Saiyans!"

"O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!" exclaimed Goku.

Piccolo snapped his fingers.

"I've got it... the color is..."

His saiyan companions waited anxiously as beads of sweat rolled down their faces.

"It is..."

More sweat fell, until there was a gigantic puddle that rolled into the ocean.

"It... is... orange!"

Vegeta looked skeptical.

"Are you sure it's not OUR skin color?"

Piccolo gasped. He hit himself on the forehead for his stupidity.

"Of course! Why didn't I think of that before?" he berated himself.

------------------------------------------

"The course of true love never did run smooth."

--From A Midsummer Night's Dream (I, i, 134)

"How do you recognize true love?" inquired Piccolo.

Vegeta beckoned him to come closer, and then grabbed Goku.

"Alright, listen up. Now, let's suppose I'm truly in love with Kakarrot, and he's truly in love with me."

Piccolo nodded, showing that he understood so far.

Goku's eyes sparkled.

"Geta loves me?"

"NO!!! Now, if you're truly in love with someone, you would go to any lengths to make them happy, as would they. You would be willing to give your life for theirs, and in times of need, you would be there for each other."

Piccolo was fascinated, this proven as he jotted down everything in his little notepad.

"Um... Sensei? Are you supposed to marry a MAN or a WOMAN?"

"A WOMAN OF COURSE!!!"

"You're sure of that?" Piccolo asked once more.

"Yes! Now, no more questions until I'm finished!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... Okay, I'm finished."

"..."

------------------------------------------

"Out, damned spot! out, I say!"

--From Macbeth (V, i, 38)

"Say... Have you guys ever tried to clean something, but there was one part where the crap just wouldn't come off?" asked Goku.

"That happens often to me, for the dishes of dirtiness are my duty." Vegeta informed them.

"That was beautifully put. You are a truly great demagogue." remarked Piccolo.

"How did you know I was a demagogue by day, and a lover by night?"

“…”

“…”

"... I have my ways..."

------------------------------------------

"To be or not to be, --that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"
-- From Hamlet (III, i, 56-61)

"Suicide is the coward's way out." claimed Vegeta.

"I'm inclined to agree. Let us warriors of the twilight meet our ends in battle, until we reunite with our ancestors... in the Halls of Valhalla." Piccolo recited.

Suddenly Goku realized something.

"Geta, didn't YOU commit suicide once?"

"It was so I could destroy Majin Buu!"

"That doesn't change anything. Suicide IS suicide." Piccolo reminded him.

"..."

------------------------------------------

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)

"Did you know that we are constantly monitored by aliens?" Vegeta inquired.

Piccolo and Goku just shrugged.

"Sounds pretty ridiculous to me. Everyone knows there are no such things as aliens." Goku said.

Vegeta responded by pointing to himself, and Piccolo.

"You yourself are an alien, baka!"

"Oh, yeah..."

"Hey, how come in all of those fanfics, everyone thinks Dende controls fate? If he could do that, Cell would've been beaten much more easily! Those stories tell terrible LIES!" proclaimed Geta.

"Um... You do know that we aren't real, right? We are simply figments of someone's imagination... Even at this very moment, characters of a strange universe, told with Microsoft Works Word Processor..." Piccolo revealed.

"Oh, well. I'm still content. Be sure to look forward to more madness from the author that brought you: "Hamlet" and "Macbeth".

After Goku's (look up!) short and sweet dialogue, the three brave philosophers got up, and started to do a line dance as they sang an appropriate song:

It's the meaning of life!
And I hope for your sake
That you've come to the right fic
And haven't made a mistake
Because it's easily done...
Especially nowadays...
With these multiple stories...

THE END

Disclaimer: I own not DBZ, The Meaning of Life, and I'm not William Shakespeare, the famous zombie playwright.

AN-The song at the end is a manipulation of lyrics by Terry Jones.